Flag or healing?

Proverbs 17:9 “He loveth transgression that loveth strife: He that raises high his gate seeks destruction”

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If you have been in any group of people there will flag thrown, as if there has been some infraction of an written social norm.  They want to throw out the victim flag like a referee at a ball game.  I am a victim, “throw the flag.”  Somebody used a word that made them uncomfortable, “throw the flag.”  I have it worse than you, “throw the flag.” I also have my own flag ready to throw it any time I need a warm fuzzy “Aaaw”.  With a glee to get sympathy, the red flag flies upward and outward. It was a flag I could throw with distinction.

But more likely the walking wounded would like to be left alone with their pain.  I have been there. I have been so filled with feelings of hurt that I did not want to be around anyone. My hurt becomes almost pleasurable because it was caused by someone else. I justify myself into believing that this enduring internal pain was good for me. It was the old, “no pain, no gain” mantra. Pride in pain. I raised it for all to see. “Look at me, I am well on my way to martyrdom.”

But then I realized, in this self-induced misery of pain, is not worth it. It is not enough to be a victim. It was not enough to hold my red flag of martyrdom at bay. I had to let it go. The better option was to forsake the walking wounded and join the forgiven and the victorious. Healing!