I have a grand-daughter that started a performance ritual a few years back.  Whenever an occasion arose to have all the relatives in one place, she would have all of us gather together in a big circle and hold hands. She would then start the swinging of hands repeating, “Family, Family, Family.” This little act of coming together as a family was from an inner desire to touch and feel a part of something more than herself.  I believe there is a need deep down within every human to want to be included in a family.  For adults, there is a need to create a family and within that an intrinsic feeling of love, of creation or a desire to leave something behind.

It would be easy for a secular family to put the family in a priority level from first to a much lower position.  Some people can’t have a bunch of kids.  Others simply don’t want children.  The social climate we live in seems to encourage family: deductions on our income tax, public support of schools for children, there is even special medical coverage for children that is not available for adults.

In the sphere of Christianity, where does this intersect with the family of God? Many Christians rightly say that God loves family. All throughout Scripture, families are given the task of rearing children in the Lord. Husbands and wives are commanded to be faithful to one another, and children to their parents. Paul writes that “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim. 5:8).  Conversely, Jesus said, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple” (Luke 14:26).

Following Jesus means belonging to two families, a natural family, and a faith family. Unlike His surrounding culture, what is most important to Jesus is the faith family: “Pointing to his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’” (Matt. 12:46–50).

Jesus’ call to join a new family generates an unavoidable loyalty conflict. Which family do I now owe my ultimate loyalty?  It is a dilemma which is not easily overcome.  We go through life as a Christian hoping that the test of our ultimate loyalty will not have to be faced.

So where does the Christian put the personal family and God’s family into the hierarchy of priorities?  Does the ranking and rating system of our beliefs require us to make a choice?  It is easy to put God first on our list: the issue arises when we must decide who to put in number two place: God’s family or my family.

While our natural families are still the most significant earthly relationships we have, we must learn to situate our natural families under an umbrella of the family of God—not as distinct social entities competing for time and attention but as members of the same family.

As Barna president David Kinnaman said,

Cultivating intergenerational relationships is one of the most important ways in which effective faith communities are developing flourishing faith in both young and old. In many churches, this means changing the metaphor from simply passing the baton to the next generation to a more functional, biblical picture of a body—that is, the entire community of faith, across the entire lifespan, working together to fulfill God’s purposes.

For those who don’t have a natural family, for those who choose not to have a natural family, for those who have lost their natural family, I have an invitation.  That invitation is to find a better family, a more important family, the family of God.

When we all gather together as a body of believers we need to grab and hand a repeat after my little grand-daughter and proclaim “Family, Family, Family.”  We should do it because there is no real separation between God and his family.