I
completed a Bible study a couple of months ago with ten men about decision
making. It was about the choices we make and what criteria we as Christians
should use. But while looking through my
obligatory Facebook friends, I was struck by a forlorn and heart-breaking post. He lives in the back of his car, lives from
moment to moment and he seems to be saying, “I have no choices left.” The outpouring of this helplessness is being
spewed out for the world to hear and it is all negative.
In
John 15 there is an account of an invalid.
Someone in worse circumstances than my acquaintance. He could not walk. He couldn’t gain meaningful employment. His only choice was to depend on a few that
knew him to bring him to a place of prayer, the pool of Bethesda. No options, no hope, no dignity, no
expectations other than getting into the swirling waters first. But even that was almost impossible because
he had no one to help him in. As Max Lucado said, “God’s efforts are strongest
when our efforts are useless.”
Jesus
told the man, “stand up, pick up your mat and walk.” In a moment a flash of a
second the man was able to do just that.
We
have to take Jesus at His word. When God
tells us to get up and get out, God enables this motion, this progress to
something better. I believe there is a
stubborn unwillingness to cast off our maladies and just do. When Jesus forgives your sin let the guilt go
with it. When Jesus says you are a child
of God, act like it. When Jesus says
something it is our obligation to believe Him.
When
Jesus says, “stand up,” don’t just sit there thinking of all the reasons not to
but in faith, get up and go.
Delight only comes with abiding and our desires change as we
abide.
I want what I want when I want it. I want Joy.
That deep inner delight that comes with the assurance of all things
working out and working out my way. I do
not want trucks that break down. I do
not want my back to hurt all the time. I
do not want to take pills to survive. I
want that inner relish for life that fills the soul. John 17:13 says flatly that Jesus came into
this world to give me full measure of His joy within me.
If it is mine, if it is promised, if it is my possession, if
it is full measure, if it is to be a deep welling joy, where is it? Driving the streets with my little granddaughter,
she is oft to say, “take it down” in response to seeing Christmas decorations still
hanging from the eves of homes. “Christmas
is over.” It is as if the time for joy
and peace on earth is now complete and we can get about our dreary lives.
How can I life I Thess 5:16 when it says, “Rejoice evermore,”
when all the Christmas lights are gone?
I would suppose it is the difference between happiness and joy. Happiness is a fleeting thing, if you pursue
it blinks at you and it is gone. I guess
I have said this before happiness is not joy.
Happiness is on the outside blinking red and green. Joy is internal warmth of dwelling in the God
of Christmas and the rest of the year.
Some things are much more important than others. Choosing between two things or options before you there is an inherent prioritization. Your mind immediately wants to put them into a logical order.
Figuring out what most important is part of life. Sometimes we even have to say no to one thing in order to say yes to something more important in our lives. At issue is we want both. “I want my cake and eat it too.” To live according to the tenants and teachings of Jesus we must set priorities.
My first priority is that relationships are more important
than things. People are always more important than thing I may accumulate. Don’t get me wrong here, I have several
things in my life, but when given a choice between a relationship and this accumulation
of plastic brightly colored stuff, people win.
You see people are ultimately forever.
Wives are more important than what chair I sit in at night.
Second, Intellect over emotion. I once heard to never make a decision when I
am upset, sad, jealous or in love.
Emotions rule the immediate. In my life I must slow down and let emotion
subside. The intellect allows the spirit
to speak. The intellect allows the soul to
make a logical decision.
Third, Joy over happiness.
Happiness is short term. Joy
comes in abiding. Our desires will change
the longer we abide in Him. Joy is
beyond a smile. If you seek happiness it
will disappear. Happiness is a good thing but when it is rooted in joy it is
the best. I believe we can’t always have
happiness, but we can always have the joy that comes with God.
Fourth and last. In
setting my priorities I must choose the future over the past. The past is over. I can’t change that, but I can be
forgiven. The past does not necessarily
dictate our future. Our habits of
yesterday can be broken. The future has
its foundation in today’s decisions.
It is one of the things we cannot live without. The deepest part of our soul cries out for
it. Without it, we start to shrink
moment by moment. All our efforts seem
pointless without the zest of it. Some
have died from the lack of it.
That thing is hope. Hope that life will turn out. Hope that someone is standing in our
corner. In all the places you could find
yourself this exact moment, there is a truth.
That truth is that Hope is here.
It is not a false hope that makes untrue promises. It is not a guarantee of an outcome invented
by any man or woman. It is not a fantasy
or an illusion or even a make-believe invention. It is a real and everlasting Hope.
It is a hope based on the truth proclaiming God is still
God. It is a hope that God is really
holding it all together. It is a hope
that God has not turned His face away.
It is a hope God can and is involved in our lives. He is intimately acquainted with every heartache;
more that we can ever know. Hope is here
It is a hope that you are loved in your worst moments. It is a hope that pursues you even as you
turn away. Make no mistake. Hope is here.
No matter where you have been. No
matter when you are now. Hope is
here. Because Hope is a person. His name
is Jesus.
I am a Christian, I have been made righteous by God’s mercy, I study to show my self approved rightly dividing the word of truth. I make my decisions according to the will of God as I understand it. The problem for the day is how do I make decisions. Do I write today, or do I spend the day working on my old truck? As a friend explained yesterday, “Give me two options and I can make the decision but give me three and I am at a loss to choose.” How do we make decisions in the light of God’s grace?
It is assumed there is a plan for my life. I may well deviate from the plan. I can even purposely ignore the plan and go
my own way. But the plan still exists. What
are the methodologies, or guidelines for my decisions? How do I choose between three things, or for
that matter hundreds?
Every day we are bombarded with decisions and decisions
about decisions, and decisions about the decisions we have decided.
Every decision we make changes things, people around us, our
circumstances and our lives.
Each of us have ideas, concepts of what is right and
wrong. Most of these value judgements
have been nurtured through our lifetimes.
We have allowed peer pressure and societal norms mold us into making
decisions that may or may not be the best.
Should society dictate my decision-making process? Should I conform to the norm? Do I conform to the commands, principals and
examples of others? I rail against
this. My life is more that conformance
to a list of right and wrong set by the community around me.
My ethical compass must have something more that a list. I have found well over 1,500 commands in the
New Testament. They are the revealed will of God. But what do I do when I must make a decision which
the Bible is silent? I have struggled
with this most of my Christian life. Law
verses grace.
At this point of this missive, I don’t really know where I
am going with this. I just decided to tell
everyone I found an answer to my decision dilemma. “Seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness and everything else will be added.”
Even if you look closely, peering into the depths of who we are, we will never know our size. Our perception is always flawed by self-expectations. You and I are much more marvelous, much more important, much more consistently creative than we will ever know or even admit. We do not credit ourselves with the things and events of which we are the central figure. Our own flawed window keeps us from seeing our own personal worth. We are blind to our gifts. We become deaf to our own voice. We don’t hear our self-magnitude.
Our blurry image of self is so unrecognizable that we become dependent upon the assessment of others. Assurance of worth seems to be delegated to everyone but ourselves. These others seem only to see our imperfections and our weakness. Every personal accomplishment is seen as an opportunity for the world to pick it apart. We become so encapsulated in the lint picking opinions of everyone else, we shun any effort that could be construed as being good in the fear of not living up to the expectation of perfection of our detractors.
We must be more than what others see. We must dig deep into a realistic view of who we are; to allow ourselves to say, “that was good”.
Being creative is like that. Writing is like that. Life is like that. Worship is like that. Relationship is like that.
I am bald. For some, you could say I am follically challenged. Hence, I have had literally hundreds of hats all purchased or give to me with one purpose: to protect my bare head. Some were plain, others with a message attached. One of these hats broadcast a leadership style. That red and white hat had two bills. One bill pointing in one direction and another pointing another. And on the cap was boldly written, “I’m their leader which way did they go?” I would think this cap was given as a joke because I have never one to stand back and let others lead. I am the John Wayne type of person who is quiet, and unassuming until there is a crisis. When things go wrong, I block everything out, even who is to blame and come to a quick decision. And come what may, I stick to my decision without wavering. The problem is that haunts this type of leader is the lack of company. This character is tragically and painfully alone. Their silence and their inability to let others own part of the solution is isolating. In today’s socially acceptable world we of the John Wayne set, living in our isolation want so much to be accepted volitionally try to restrain ourselves. So not only are we isolated, we now become withdrawn and reactionary only to the big things. It becomes an exhibition of “Silent Strength.” This attitude becomes so silent that decisions are reserved for when the house is burning down and everything else is left to others. And we live in a quiet desperation. Men have allowed themselves to be trapped in their own inner lives. Silent strength often becomes quiet desperation. We endure an inner shame when we don’t have an answer. We are frustrated by simple choices. “Honey do you want beef or chicken tonight?” “It doesn’t matter.” The society around us has made its business to push men into this quiet desperation for generations. We must be politically correct. We must allow our spouses their say without constraint. We must be the strong silent type, enduring all, accepting all and with a small upturned smile as we cope. “When Momma is happy, everyone is happy.” So, what is the solution? As I read the Bible to find guidance and direction, I discover we are to be leaders to our families, love our wives, disciple our kids, serve the church, and spread the gospel along with a thousand other things. It is simply overwhelming. As each new wave of frustration, anxiety, and compliance folds over, it becomes easier and easier to just give up the reigns that God desires of us to hold tightly to. It is all about individual decisions. Christian men need to set their decision making not based upon people’s expectations but upon God’s expectations. I am working on a Bible study based on the path set before men. It is how to make the right decisions in love and caring. It is how to renew the place of men in God’s plans. It is based on four maxims and each must have its proper place: Christian decision making is first compassionate to people. Decision making always is one of relationship over things. Your family is more important than anything you may own, want or crave.
Christian decisions are always about head knowledge and logic. It is not something you just do because your emotion or your heart says it is good. A person’s heart is the most fickle part of our lives and should not be trusted. This decision maxim is intellect over emotion.
Christian decisions are always about joy and not about happiness. Happiness is a temporary thing. Happiness comes and goes with the latest thing, place or substance. Joy is something that comes from within the inner soul. Happiness is usually associated with something outside trying to fill a gap in the soul.
Christian choice is always based on the future. It is not based upon the past. Sure you may have well failed at something, never-the-less it is not a determining reason for not trying again. There is always redemption. We must always strive to better than our past.
How do we become the person God wants us to be? How can we be the confident decision-makers in our homes? First, we must pray. Prayer is not an easy thing for most men because it is not natural to acknowledge something that is smarter, stronger and more intelligent than ourselves. Men must just start a conversation with God. To yield up to as much of God we understand and start a dialog. Second, we need to start a regular Bible reading plan. Make it a habit to set aside at least 5 minutes for only reading your Bible. God will start to reveal His will for you and your family. Next, go and find someone to meet with. Find another guy with whom you can have an honest conversation. This can be hard, but are we too scared to reach out to another guy and acknowledge that we are all struggling with something? Finally, it is never too late to start leading. The world wants you to feel like you’ve already blown your chance to lead, or that no one will take you seriously, but this isn’t the case. Take a few minutes to write down the areas in your life where you would like to start leading. The bottom line is this: It is NOT too late to start leading. Ask the Lord to show you the way and just start leading.
Driving across town to do a simple errand I was late. Every stop light seemed to be just turning red as I approached. Every light brought on a small incremental growth of frustration. Call it happenstance, coincidence or luck, but I came upon three green lights in a row. My countenance lightened as the journey came to an end. Pulling into the parking lot of my destination I realized I was on time for my appointment.
I have personally experienced instantaneous healings. I have also heard testimonies of God healing people in a single moment of faith. But as often as not it was preceded by months or years of faithful praying for that breakthrough. The world I live in has become an instant soup kind of world. Microwaves, 260 channels on widescreen televisions provide entertainment with a push of a button on a remote control. Today’s culture has embraced the instant, and sometimes we forget the importance of persistence and our Biblical mandate to not give up when the going gets tough.
Before the beginning of the world, there was a plan for Jesus to come into this world. But when the day came for Mary to give birth there was no room in the inn. You would think if God had this perfect plan of bringing the savior to the world he could have made reservations. Even in promises, even in the promises of God, there will be challenges. Even when God is in something, problems can and following the reservation less Jesus, often will present themselves.
We look at our local churches and fully expect that if God is in something, it’ll work out perfectly. But sometimes it does not. Some Churches do not thrive, some even shut their doors, years of prayers and hopes seemingly unheard.
But they are just stop lights in our paths. Sometimes it takes a long time for God to act suddenly.
For a great number of Christians, the obligatory weekly service is the sum total or center of their Christian life. We are good at gathering together to backslap each other and if we really in the spirit to give someone a hug. But as they drive away from the congregation, there is no sense of mission.
Our mission is not found within the hallowed halls of some great or small building, it is on the outside. The mission of the real church, the body of Christ, is in the marketplace. From the preaching and life of Jesus, as he taught the twelve, and lived his teaching, look closely and you will find them in the marketplace. It is the central location of want. It was where the neediest were found. The marketplace, the place where needs are most felt, is the place for the church.
It is not enough for the organization we call the church to hang a pretty sign upon its facade and call it done. The world will not come to us. We dare not wait for the grand influx of bodies to join us in our holy alcove. When we rub shoulders day after day with those who are lost we become the church to them. People in need of the power and grace to get through the day, need Jesus. When we go out and be one of them, but not of them we are answering the prayer of Jesus in John 17. We are the living and breathing answer to God.
My birthday was yesterday. I am feeling old. My bones hurt. Oh, for the days of jumping from rock to rock in a rushing stream to find an elusive trout. It is the wear and tear of the daily living that seems to have ripped the desire to pursue my dreams and to shadow my hopes.
With repeated attempts, I find myself unable to reach my greatest intentions. I am not giving up, but I seem to be losing my grip on the things that seemed to matter to me so much over the years. My greatest fear is getting to a place where I simply say, “what is the use.” What is the use to continue my quest to help where I can? What is the use to feed the next generation with my learned lessons of life, if they seem oblivious to the insight? When life was young there was an inner zest, or maybe a simple twitch toward the moral battle rightly engaged. There was a foe to slay, a flock to shepherd and protect, but now, what am I to do?
All sorts of compromises have been made as practical adjustments to the world in which we live. Legitimate hopes and dreams have been lost in the fog. Griefs settle upon me as I see myself more like Don Quixote battling windmills than King Arthur fighting the good fight. The struggle seems to have dulled my sword and now has become difficult to hold it up.
My bed beckons me each evening but I can’t sleep because of all the little naps taken to get through the day. The question, “what is the use” seems more and more close.
This does not mean that I will cease battling. I will continue to fight the good fight, I will finish my race. Just because I can not run 100 yards does not mean I am giving up to self-indulgence and retire to the companionship of my easy chair. I will, and I am doing my part to make a difference. I have not lost the zest of the moral struggle. I may hang on grimly to the end, but with the inner fire not quite as bright as it was back in the day, I will keep on keeping on.
The fire is still burning within me and even if no one comes by to warm themselves by it, I will keep it lit.
