I am bald. For some, you could say I am follically challenged. Hence, I have had literally hundreds of hats all purchased or give to me with one purpose: to protect my bare head. Some were plain, others with a message attached. One of these hats broadcast a leadership style. That red and white hat had two bills. One bill pointing in one direction and another pointing another. And on the cap was boldly written, “I’m their leader which way did they go?” I would think this cap was given as a joke because I have never one to stand back and let others lead. I am the John Wayne type of person who is quiet, and unassuming until there is a crisis. When things go wrong, I block everything out, even who is to blame and come to a quick decision. And come what may, I stick to my decision without wavering.
The problem is that haunts this type of leader is the lack of company. This character is tragically and painfully alone. Their silence and their inability to let others own part of the solution is isolating. In today’s socially acceptable world we of the John Wayne set, living in our isolation want so much to be accepted volitionally try to restrain ourselves. So not only are we isolated, we now become withdrawn and reactionary only to the big things. It becomes an exhibition of “Silent Strength.” This attitude becomes so silent that decisions are reserved for when the house is burning down and everything else is left to others. And we live in a quiet desperation.
Men have allowed themselves to be trapped in their own inner lives. Silent strength often becomes quiet desperation. We endure an inner shame when we don’t have an answer. We are frustrated by simple choices. “Honey do you want beef or chicken tonight?” “It doesn’t matter.” The society around us has made its business to push men into this quiet desperation for generations. We must be politically correct. We must allow our spouses their say without constraint. We must be the strong silent type, enduring all, accepting all and with a small upturned smile as we cope. “When Momma is happy, everyone is happy.”
So, what is the solution? As I read the Bible to find guidance and direction, I discover we are to be leaders to our families, love our wives, disciple our kids, serve the church, and spread the gospel along with a thousand other things. It is simply overwhelming. As each new wave of frustration, anxiety, and compliance folds over, it becomes easier and easier to just give up the reigns that God desires of us to hold tightly to. It is all about individual decisions.
Christian men need to set their decision making not based upon people’s expectations but upon God’s expectations.
I am working on a Bible study based on the path set before men. It is how to make the right decisions in love and caring. It is how to renew the place of men in God’s plans. It is based on four maxims and each must have its proper place: Christian decision making is first compassionate to people. Decision making always is one of relationship over things. Your family is more important than anything you may own, want or crave.

Christian decisions are always about head knowledge and logic. It is not something you just do because your emotion or your heart says it is good. A person’s heart is the most fickle part of our lives and should not be trusted. This decision maxim is intellect over emotion.

Christian decisions are always about joy and not about happiness. Happiness is a temporary thing. Happiness comes and goes with the latest thing, place or substance. Joy is something that comes from within the inner soul. Happiness is usually associated with something outside trying to fill a gap in the soul.

Christian choice is always based on the future. It is not based upon the past. Sure you may have well failed at something, never-the-less it is not a determining reason for not trying again. There is always redemption. We must always strive to better than our past.

How do we become the person God wants us to be? How can we be the confident decision-makers in our homes? First, we must pray. Prayer is not an easy thing for most men because it is not natural to acknowledge something that is smarter, stronger and more intelligent than ourselves. Men must just start a conversation with God. To yield up to as much of God we understand and start a dialog.
Second, we need to start a regular Bible reading plan. Make it a habit to set aside at least 5 minutes for only reading your Bible. God will start to reveal His will for you and your family.
Next, go and find someone to meet with. Find another guy with whom you can have an honest conversation. This can be hard, but are we too scared to reach out to another guy and acknowledge that we are all struggling with something?
Finally, it is never too late to start leading. The world wants you to feel like you’ve already blown your chance to lead, or that no one will take you seriously, but this isn’t the case. Take a few minutes to write down the areas in your life where you would like to start leading. 
The bottom line is this: It is NOT too late to start leading. Ask the Lord to show you the way and just start leading.

What do you think?