Category Archives: Ramblings

Pondering is better than quibbling.

I have been making a concerted attempt at teaching my grandson a few things about numbers.  Once you get beyond the rote memorization and tedium of the times tables there is an elegance to numbers. We talked about prime numbers, you know those numbers that are only divisible itself and one.  1,2,3,5,7,11,13,19,23,29,31,37,41, and on and on.  As we sat together in my study we pondered this list of numbers.  We were wise owls staring into the night as I explained, “as numbers get bigger and bigger there are fewer and fewer prime numbers and like numbers themselves, they go on for infinity.”

It looked as if his head was going to explode.  Mind you he is getting ready to enter the fifth grade, and the relativity of numbers and infinity itself is some of those things that probably needs to held back to at least the seventh grade.  But it was an introduction.  A beginning of a thought pattern that could well carry through to the rest of his life.

For me, there is a thirst for learning that can’t quite be quenched. There is a little itch that cannot be scratched urging me on.  It is more than a want to just rearrange the ideas and facts of others.  I must find the new, the encouraging, the frightful, the consoling, the special in everything I see.  When I am disappointed in someone or experience a slightly hurtful comment, I go to my special place of wonder.  I look out at the world around me and try to discover something new.  You might well call this escapism, or even an unwillingness to face the reality that people sometimes hurt me without knowing.  But for me, it is better than lashing out or making my own snide comment.

Of all the comments, slurs, circumstances, and disappointments that Jesus went through, I see very few instances of Him lashing out.  Don’t get me wrong, I am no Jesus.  Nevertheless, I think it is just better this way.  I will not waste my pondering on quibbles.

Califorina Highway Patrol and grace

Way back in the day I owned one hot 68 Ford Fairlane two door.  It was a very special car and it had a lot of work done.  I had all the chrome and emblems removed and painted it with six coats of #44 black lacquer and it was buffed mirror shine. It was fast. It had a 428 cu in (7.0 L) Cobra Jet, developing 335 bhp. The largest tires that would fit under the wheel wells on the rear,  gave it a rake that looked mean.

I was employed in a small grocery store as a meat cutter and after work, I was always in a hurry to get home. The little town of Cottonwood was not a large anything and very seldom was there any traffic down the main street; the freeway had passed the sleepy town by.

Not being very cautious and wanting to get home, I pulled out from a blind stop sign in front of another black car.  I had cut that car off a little close and I stepped on the gas in response and left just a little bit of black mark on the road.  It was out of embarrassment that I had done this dastardly thing.  I had wanted to create some additional space between myself and the other black car just for safety sake.

I was well exceeding the posted 35 miles per hour and that other black car flipped on its siren and his Blue light, I had not noticed that trailing black car was a California Highway Patrol car. My turn to home was just a half a block away and wanting to be safe I turn quickly down the street and pulled over with just enough room to allow the officer to park behind.

The rapid turn took the CHP officer by surprise and he tried with all his might to follow but as he turned he realized he was too close and literally slid all four of his tires into the small space behind me with only one foot to spare in a great cloud of dust.

After, what seemed to be an eternity, the CHP officer who had been quietly sitting in his car trying to assume a posture of calm, opened his door and walked very slowly to my window.

Rolling down the window I stated with a large smile on my face, “Can I help you, officer?”

He replied, “I almost rear-ended you twice; the first time when you pulled into the street in front of me.  I could have let that slip, but when you sped up I had to turn on my lights.”  He continued to say with a small rivulet of nervous sweat coming from under his official brown hat, “Then you turned left abruptly and when I tried to follow, and the excessive speed I was making, my engine died.  I lost my power steering and my power breaks.  I almost lost control and came close to hitting you again.”

I came to the realization he was almost apologizing for coming so close to my car.

“I could well write you up for a number of things, but I came very near to hitting you the second time, that I just don’t have it within me.”  Please slow down and watch your turns.”  He walked back to his car and sat down.

I pulled out slowly with the appropriate turn signal as I watched the CHP just sit in his car. My actions as I pulled away were in response to grace.  My reaction to grace was not that I got away with something, it was that I had been stupid and I would be more careful, more attentive, and more obedient.

It is the same calling we receive by grace to act accordingly.  “The things I believe I do, all else is just religious talk.

GRACE….

Love as a gift.

Knit booties

In a small town in which I first Pastored, there is little that was not known by the population.  A good reputation can be lost a lot faster than a bad reputation can be repaired.  I needed the Church to be known as a place of caring. Faced with a need to tell the community that the church  cared and wanting the congregation to both buy into the idea and wanting to involve the congregation in the solution, I thought long and hard as to a methodology. There was only one hospital in town. Every baby born in the county took its first breath in The Clearwater County Hospital.

I asked the some of the ladies of the church to create something I could give to each newborn.  The solution was a pair of homemade knit booties.  We added a card from the church with good wishes and an invitation.

Before I knew it I was inundated with the most adorable knit booties you could ever want.  The ladies of the church bought into the idea that their wares which would be the first gift a new child would use.  I pumped up the knitting crew with ideas like “Booties from Jesus” and “Gifts from the Maji.”

We were going to do something out of the ordinary.  To give without any expectation. There seems to be an insidious thought pattern in the church.  A thought that there is a reciprocity timeline.  That is to say, if I do something nice for someone that person becomes obligated to respond in an appropriate manner and in an assumed appropriate time period. If I do good things I should be rewarded because now I deserve it.  One definition of karma is: moral law of cause and effect governing the future.   If I give you a compliment, you are expected to respond with either a self-deprecating comment or an equally gracious compliment in return.  If you receive a Christmas card the week before Christmas you have to make a mad dash to the Hallmark store and send one back immediately.  If I offer you half of my cookie you have to offer me some of your Cheetos. It is just common politeness. We make sure everyone gets equitable gifts for their birthdays, so when it is your turn you will get gifts in return.  The problem with this reciprocity mindset is it always seems to be accompanied by disappointment if the giver does not get gifted in return.

When you give someone a gracious compliment like, “you are a great speaker,” and they return with “I know that,” you are hurt.  We find ourselves wallowing in disappointment when our ample generosity is not met with the expected results.  The problem is not with the complement being not received, but it is our return expectation.  The issue was that we gave with a motive of reciprocity. The motive behind telling someone you like their new shoes is partly dictated by the reasonable expectation for them to tell you that you look good in your terrible shirt.  This mindset no matter how subtle ruins the true meaning of gift giving.  Though our intention is likely pure, we can unintentionally mar the beautiful experience of giving by focusing on what we will eventually receive in return.

When we let go of the notion that we deserve to receive gifts or actions or behaviors based on our giving, then and only then can be the kind of giving displayed by God.

When gifts are given laden down with expectations, they cease to be gifts and become units of exchange that is offered up for some future reward.

As those ladies gathered around together to do ministry they may have had grand expectations.  But the gift itself was love.

If you have trouble divesting yourself of your expectations, you may need to reflect upon the root of your inability to act in the true spirit of giving. Each time you make a gift ask yourself if there is something you hope to receive in return. You may be surprised to discover that you expect to be repaid with an easy life, financial windfalls, or opportunities.  We have to go beyond this.  The Church had to become a place of selfless generosity. And we did that by letting go of our expectations.

To integrate this most selfless form of generosity into the life of the church and even in the lives of individuals, you will have to let go of your need to be in control. Giving without expectation is letting go of the timetable, it is releasing the control of the outcome. Giving selflessly and without expectation eventually becomes a profound joy that stands alone, separate from any and all conditions.

We must rediscover the distinction between hope and expectation. Expectations are often characterized by unfulfilled desires. Expectation is about calculation. Expectation is manipulation of the response.  Expectation may not always be realistic.  Expectation has no surprise.  Expectation is often disappointed. Expectation is typically fixed and frozen.  It is inflexible and rigid.  It is unable to give or bend or to change. The worst part of expectations is what happens when we just don’t give them up.  We hold on to them as if they were gold. They infect and overwhelm us, like viral flu that simply will not go away. It consumes us like the plague.  We are unable to give them up.  We are not able to let them go.  Expectations change us.  They affect how we see the world around us.  Expectations start to rule our responses to everything in our lives.  Expectation is so rigid, we always respond negatively.  We become angry.  Sometimes unmet expectations cause us to even more force our expectations.

When little results were seen from our booty ministry, someone said, “If the booties were better constructed, or if the invitation was worded more eloquently we would get a better response.” Expectation was pushing out the hope and with it the joy.

Hope is much different.  Expectation is the assumption of success, false or not, hope is the wish for something to happen. Hope is about imagination. Hope is alive.  Hope responds.  Hope allows others to grow.  Hope is not limited by our experiences because it does not die when unmet. Hope is not directing the responses or the lack of response.  Hope is always realistic and can happen. Hope always comes with a surprise. Hope never results in disappointment. Hope admits uncertainty.  We may have to adjust our hopes but we can always keep hoping. Hope helps us to keep moving forward.  Hope fills with life.

When someone does not live up to our hopes, we can keep hoping for them because hope is flexible. We may adjust our hopes based on what we learned. We may lower our hopes realizing they were too unrealistic. What I learned from the God of Idaho and dozens of pretty bootees is, “There is no such thing as a false hope.”

I don’t know if a single booty ever changed the mind of a new mother and father to come to the church.  I don’t know if the plan was a good one.  I don’t know if sometime, in some place, the future a parent or even the child will pick up that first gift from the ladies at the Church of the Nazarene and have their life changed.  But I do choose to believe that no work, no effort given selflessly and in the name of Jesus is for naught. I choose to believe these special ladies, sometimes with sore hands and failing eyesight, did ministry.  They made an effort outside of themselves.  They felt part of the church.  They felt an inner joy in giving in the name of God.  They gave in hope.  And it is in these moments of joy that these lady saints enjoyed the very presence of God.  Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.

Love is part of the human condition.

Star Trek and Idealism

‘What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! How infinite in faculty! In form, in moving, how express and admirable! In action, how like an angel! In apprehension, how like a god!'”

Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Hide and Q”

There is within man a spark of idealism. A spark that will not be extinguished. It is a universal urge to do more than what is expected.  That urge is what drives me to help in a local food bank which distributes over 20,000 pounds of food to the “food insecure” every month. Why do I do that?  What characteristic or deep-seated urge seems to send me to volunteer.  Is there an inner desire, or core belief within us all to be altruistic and social-minded?  I believe so.  It is an internal urge to have compassion with no expectation of reward. There is an inner voice that wants me to move to action to correct what appears to be unjust.  I give time, talent and treasure to meet perceived needs.  It moves me. It makes me overlook the smells and sometimes bad attitudes of the recipients.

But there is a multiplicity of competing voices.  For some being around the unwashed and uncouth is just too much.  For that matter, some even feel uncomfortable when they hear what I do.  They are uncomfortable because their inner voice has been muffled for so long that they can look a homeless person on the street corner and act as though they did not exist.

Everyone has that inner desire to right wrongs.  Everyone wants to do right when the opportunity is presented to their sensibilities. This week the nation is morning a senseless school shooting, but we seem to turn a deaf ear to the thousands dying in Chicago and other large cities.  The problem is we can’t do everything.  There must be a hierarchy of our altruism and idealism. Sure, I care for the poor and hungry in my city, I do my part, but I am also aware there always be someone I can not help.  I know without a doubt that hunger will never be stamped out of my community.  Never-the-less, I can help with some and those I do help are sufficient. It quiets my still small voice crying in the darkness of my soul to do more.

My inner voice that cries for idealism and altruism causes my actions.  And those actions are what I will be measured.

Your comments?

Honor

Over the last couple of months, I have tried to grasp the characteristics or inner needs that drive our actions.  Again, actions are the results or responses we decide to make as we live out our core.  Our core is part and parcel of who we are.  We do not choose to be wanted and accepted, it is a part of our core or center characteristic.  Actions based upon this core have moral consequences.  Actions are never done in isolation.  Actions are what we do in response to our innermost.  These actions require an act of the will.  An example: I have an inner desire for consumption of food, but it is an act of the will to consume good food or not so good food.  Decisions carry with it consequences.  If someone would step on my toe in a crowded elevator, I would feel pain; no decision on my part it is a part of being alive.  But if I lashed out at the perpetrator of the pain and punched him in the nose, that is a decision and has consequences. Pain is part of being how I am. Purposely inflicting pain on someone else’s nose is a decision-making process.

So far in my list of inner wants or core needs I have covered acceptance, curiosity, consumption, and family. The next on the list is probably the most problematic.  Problematic in that our society seems to display the actions that would not express this characteristic.  That characteristic is honor.

Honor as defined in the Bible as kabod in the Old Testament meaning heavy or weighty.  To honor someone is to give weight or give respect and even authority over your life, and timao in the New Testament.  It is characterized as granting honor because of respect, courtesy, and reverence.  Both words speak of acts of honor. Never-the-less, I believe there is an inner desire to acknowledge others with honor.

An example of this characteristic is when I worked for Intel Corporation.  I was asked to go on a sales call with a large customer to be a technical advisor to the discussion.  I felt that I should give the honor to the customer to dress well and be on my best behavior.  I put on a fresh shirt and a moderate tie under my suit coat and went to the meeting.  At the meeting table prior to introductions the prospective buyers constantly asked me questions and almost ignoring the sales manager to which I was there to support.  The sales manager was not wearing a tie or for that matter acted disinterested in the goings-on of the meeting.  The company staff was referring to me because of my clothes and demeanor.  To the chagrin of my sales manager, he was being ignored and I was being honored.

For the most part, most do not act rudely.  Most take care not to offend.  Most react to the honor urge in positive ways.  It is an internal attitude of that should be nurtured.  It is only when we respect, and honor others will others do the same. While the reception of honor is a positive experience, it is not to be sought ( Luke 14:7-8 ). When honor comes from others by reason of position or status, it is not to be taken for granted. The recipients should seek to merit honor through godly character.

The granting of honor to others is an essential experience in the believer’s life. Christians are to bestow honor on those for whom honor is due. The believer is to honor God, for he is the sovereign head of the universe and his character is unsurpassed. The believer is to honor those in positions of earthly authority, such as governing authorities ( Rom 13:1-7 ), masters ( 1 Tim 6:1 ), and parents ( Exod 20:12 ). As a participant in the church, the believer is also called to honor Jesus Christ, the head of the church ( John 5:23 ), fellow believers ( Rom 12:10 ), and widows ( 1 Tim 5:3 ).

Honor, now that is deep!

Comments welcomed.

The truth is, there is no truth.

The world, the public persona, the culture shouts to us from every screen and signboard is one of “not enough.” There is always one more improvement, always one more perfect solution, always “but wait, there’s more.”  Boiled down to a single phrase it could well be, “the truth of yesterday is not the truth today.” The truth is that there is no truth.  Our culture around us screams for the next big thing. The biggest and best of yesterday is nothing compared to the new and improved of today.  The common societal mantra goes even blatantly further with a wry smile, hinting that the best yet to come. The now is never enough. The truth of today is just a pale shadow of that new truth to come.

Technology promises a plethora of new and better.  Politics promise peace and prosperity.  Cars that can protect ourselves from our own stupidity.  Phones that will never get you lost. Better coffee, better food, better soda that tastes great with no sugar. Always a hopeful future.

Our society promises a kind of heaven on earth.  A world with stable ocean levels.  A world where all have access to clean water.  A world where everyone has free stuff.  A world where there is no money.  A world where the individual is not limited by anything.  Our culture promises a life of satiated desires and political correctness.  But this new world order has no meaning outside of the moment.  No current home will ever satisfy our personal homelessness. No current meaning of life will ever have meaning.  No hope of life now will ever be enough.  There is no joy of life in the now that is sufficient. Where is the satisfaction?

Our lives are bombarded by reality shows that nothing to do with reality.  There a talent shows that allow us to think, “that could be me.”  Commercials that proclaim the latest absolute bargain. We pay homage to the opinion of the latest celebrity for all our group-think. For the world, there is no “same yesterday, today and tomorrow.” Our culture says there is no constancy.

BUT THERE IS.  It is only when we realize that it is possible to be in the world and not be a part of it.  It is only when the constant of eternity is the foundation of our lives can there ever be true satisfaction in our nows.

The why of the what.

Why do you do the things you do? Why do you react to some people one way and others in another?  What causes me to want to go to a church that fills me with joy or even go to church in the first place?  What inner voice drives me to learn and share that learning?  Why do I write or even write about the subjects I do?  For that matter, why do I keep asking questions like these?  Others seem to ignore the why and are more concerned about the what.

To this end, I have researched and studied and digested numerous sources all the way from Maslow’s hierarchy of needs to Herzberg’s two-factor theory. I have self-analyzed myself to a point of frustration.

In the next couple of weeks, I plan to address what makes me, and for that matter, you and everyone else, what seems to motivate our actions.  Further, I will include the direct relationship to each of our motivations to God and how we choose to serve Him.

Prior to addressing the nine motives or desires, I have set specific criteria to each.  First criteria for each motive or desire is that it is amoral.  That is there is no cause for judgment in having one of these motives or desires.  The desires of the body are morally neutral.  Second is that each of these desires or motives can and often lead to moral decisions.  The why will turn to what.  Thirdly, our moral decisions based on these desires can be good, holy, and Godly.  Conversely, our moral decisions can be bad, sinful and ungodly. Lastly, as humans, we all have these motives or desires to one degree or other.  To ignore any of them is to ignore what God has put in us and how God made us.

So this is where I am going:

  1. Acceptance
  2. Curiosity
  3. Consumption
  4. Family
  5. Honor
  6. Idealism
  7. Independence
  8. Order
  9. Love

Why Church?

I am at a place in my life where I wonder about the things in my life in which I have invested so much.  It is sort of a high-level second-guessing of all the decisions made in my life.  You know what I am saying here because you have been there yourself.  You feel regret that you could have spent more time with the more important things and less time watching others do the things you should have done.

This second-guessing reaches into every part of my history.  Everything from wearing a hat in the sun to prevent skin cancers, to my propensity to eat too much, to the time spent taking naps, and even to the time and effort to go to church.

It is this last question that has me in a quandary today.  Once I started to wonder about the efficacy of church, I went down a rat hole questioning about my current church role.  I must ask myself (not always a very intelligent conversation), “Is the institution which I have a membership and attend regularly, the place for me.”  In my current point in my life, is it worth the time, talent and treasure, I am pouring into an address?

I am fully aware this self-introspection sounds a little weird coming from someone that has already invested so much.  I have been the one crying, cajoling, begging, pleading, bribing and dragging others to the church most of my adult life. I have been the one who stood between heaven and hell for a number of people.  I have told countless souls of the necessity of being part of the Body of Christ.  I have quoted scripture after scripture, hoping to sway someone to come to church.

Never-the-less, here I am wondering if it was all worth it.  It was once said, “there is no perfect church as long as I am in it.”  I think it was Mark Twain that said, “I would not want to join any group that would want me.”  It really gets down to why do thoughtful, believing, serious people attend my local church in the first place.

I need some help.  I very seldom ask for assistance, I see myself as being very capable and able to handle most things.  Here is the task:  If you go to church, tell me why, if you don’t go to church, tell me why.  I am writing something for publication and outside of the normal everyday reasons and sometimes trite quotes, I want real feelings and real reasons why.  Please pass this on to all that would be willing to add their two cents.  Thank you.

I feel your pain.

I have come to know a person who told me he had little empathy.  It both shocked me and created a sense of doubt in his motives and his actions.  So, I did a little research on what empathy really means and what should be my reaction.  The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines empathy as:

1 : the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it

2 : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also :the capacity for this

Therefore, a person has empathy if that person can understand and share the feelings of another.  Empathy is the ability to experience the feelings of another person.  It goes beyond acknowledgement of pain and suffering of others to a personal co-ownership of that pain and suffering.

So from there I had to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy.  I have used them interchangeably.

Here is a chart:

Empathy Sympathy
Understanding what others are feeling because you have experienced it yourself or can put yourself in their shoes. Acknowledging another person’s emotional hardships and providing comfort and assurance.
Personal understanding from experience of like circumstance or proportion of pain Understanding the quantity and type of pain experience of others
The ability to sense the feeling of the other person by remembering or imagining themselves in the other’s situations. The ability to measure and understand
I know it’s not easy to lose weight because I have faced the same problems myself Trying to lose weight can often feel like an uphill battle
A doctor relating with a patient because he or she has been in a similar situation or experience Doctors comforting patients or their families
Experience of emotion like the emotion of another person.
Empathy shares Sympathy expresses
I feel your pain I am sorry for your pain
Empathy is a mindset based upon personality Sympathy is a mindset based upon learning
Empathy is a talent Sympathy is a learned behavior
Empathy is exhibited in sharing Sympathy is increased by repetition

Of the two, empathy is a deeper feeling, but sympathy can be just as honest and heartfelt. However, empathy can forge a deeper and more meaningful connection, thus serving as a bridge for greater communication between individuals or between a leader and his or her followers.  Empathy most often leads to sympathy.  But sympathy alone does not lead to empathy.  This study leads me to something else; the actions that come from both empathy and sympathy: compassion.

Compassion is the action that is motivated by either empathy or sympathy. Compassion recognizes the situation and does something with it. Both sympathy and empathy imply caring for another person, but with empathy, the caring is enhanced or expanded by being able to feel the other person’s emotions.

In my study, I found a remarkable statement: The capacity to sympathize and empathize are considered vital for a sense of humanity — i.e., the ability to understand one’s fellow humans and their problems. People who lack this capacity are often classified as narcissistic, sociopathic, or in extreme cases, psychopathic.  I don’t think the person spoken of earlier needs to find a psychiatrist. But I do believe that both empathy and sympathy are vitally important to our humanity. He should try and do all he can to develop a sense of sympathy through practice. A sense of sympathy that can be exhibited in compassion with a willingness to stop and listen carefully to other situations and pain.  Sympathy is a learned behavior and empathy is personal talent. You can’t learn empathy.  You can learn to be sympathetic.

What do you think, leave a comment?

Morality and Godliness

What has happened to our world in the last 75 years?  I am overwhelmed by the crowds of individuals all concerned about how we should live.  If I may I think it is a concern for morality without a concern for godliness.  They seem to say life is having a social conscience; it is doing the right thing, it is doing what is good for the country.  Evil is bad and therefore let us condemn it whenever we see it. We hear of those who do things to “raise awareness” about some injustice or inequity.  This world seems more concerned with how others live and not the reasons why they live that way.  All good and intelligent people should be alarmed by these revelations and awareness of the bad in life, but awareness is not enough.

One of the most foolish things which I see,  is standing at the sideline denouncing evil.  That is the easiest thing to do.  As we become aware of the dark side of life, we have a sense of disgust.  We turn away and say to ourselves, “how terrible!”  But awareness does not help anybody.  It is not enough to denounce bad.  That is simple morality.  It is not enough for me not to be cruel to animals and condemn those to do.  That is simple morality.  It is not enough to see a hungry person on the street corner, and feel badly.

All good, thinking, decent people must be alarmed at what is happening in this country… But here is the great and inevitable question: Why is this happening, and what can be done about it? What has happened is a divorcement godliness.  You cannot have morality without a base of godliness.  Without godliness, morality is simply brass trumpets and sweet violins.  It is a sweet and strong music signifying nothing.

The business of the gospel is not simply to denounce; it is not simply to restrain. The business of the gospel is to deal with the situation in the only way in which it can be dealt with radically. There must be a foundation of godliness behind our morality.  And the only way to do that is a regeneration of our morality with godliness.  It is the regeneration of God in our lives.  It is the gospel of regeneration, this power of God unto salvation, that can deal even with this seemingly hopeless situation and insoluble problem. That is the whole story of the New Testament… This is the only hope for society. And let men do what they will, let them multiply their educational and moral and social organizations, they will not touch the problem. You can have your awareness organizations, your morality crusades, and your moral councils, and a thousand other things, and you will not touch the situation. The evil involved is in the heart of men, and it is only a message that can deal with the heart of men that is adequate to meet the problem is the Gospel.  The Good news.

The whole gospel of evangelism is opening eyes; not that they should be entertained, or made to laugh and weep; but to open their eyes, to turn them from darkness to light and to knowledge… We are only Christians because the Spirit of God has opened our blind eyes, and has taken away the darkness.